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Hare Krishna! Dear guru-maharaja, I offer You my sincere prayers lying in humble dandavat.
In the auspicious day of Your Vyasa-puja let me congratulate You with all my heart with this remarkable feast, which I consider the main and the most important day in my life. While it's approaching I always feel some excitement, because I start to think of what to offer You, or rather of results of my deeds for a year.
First of all, I consider the deeper consciousness of the fact that I depend upon Your favour as my main achievement. Recently I understand more and more clearly how much I indebted to You at each and every turn of my spiritual life, and even in the simple trifles. This understanding gradually becomes for me not just a theoretic phrase but an exactly practical consciousness of the fact that without mercy of spiritual master you can’t do even the simplest things.
In other words, as soon as you start to be proud of something, become frivol or start to neglect the instructions of spiritual master – at once you fail to do everything else. And that's because you’re just forgetting the one who you are indebted for being in the association of devotees. That’s why you immediately lost an ability to use the priceless gift of mercy in a right way too. And for me it was the evidence of the fact that spiritual master is always with you and can either be pleased with his disciple or not, even when he is a world away from him.
You have said in one of you Moscow lectures: "A disciple have to remember whom he is indebted in his achievements on a spiritual way, even in small ones.” Indeed, when one stop to appreciate the person and the things one is indebted for being in Krishna consciousness movement, and started to forget them - everything becomes very hard and insignificant. As a result, involuntarily arises pride, arrogance, disregard of one's duties, negligent attitude to instructions of spiritual master, and in the end – spiritual weakness. But as soon as you clearly understand and remember that there is a mercy of spiritual master behind everything you do, and that this mercy is so rare, so valuable and very hard-to-reach – at once you become humble and more serious. Not without reason that we sing in “Gurudev” prayer:
kabe heno kripa, labhiya e jana, kritartha hoibe, natha! shakti-buddhi-hina, ami ati dina, koro’ more atma-satha
O Lord and Master! When will such mercy fall to this one who is weak and devoid of intelligence? Allow me to be with you.
jogayata-vichare, kichu nahi pai, tomara karuna-sara karuna na hoile, kandiya kandiya, prana na rakhibo ara
If you examine me, you will find no qualities. Your mercy is all that I am made of. If you are not merciful unto me, I can only weep, and I will not be able to maintain my life.
That’s why, dear Guru Maharaja, while prostrating myself before Your lotus feet, I pray to grant me Your endless mercy. I’m also asking You to be patient to all of my weaknesses, tendency to deception, hypocrisy and disrespectful attitude to Your instructions. Because without Your mercy and Your forgiveness to all of us we haven’t got any chances and hope for progress in spiritual life. Everything become pointless, and we become absolutely nothing if You won’t reveal Your special quality again – Your unlimited compassion to one who asks You for a shelter. That’s why I pray to you from the core of my heart, being fully dependent on Your favour: please, help me to become Your worthy disciple. I trust You very much and do all possible attempts for my spiritual growth, hoping that You however tolerate all of my mistakes, oversights and offences. And I also believe that after all on one fine day I’ll be able to prove You (and glorify You by doing this) that by Your grace even such a miserable failure can become one more Krishna's devotee. And also I clearly understand that it’s not easy, and I place my trust only in You, because Your lotus feet is my only hope.
Please, don’t reject me and accept my most sincere dandavats to Your shining giving shelter lotus feet. I pray to God for that these feet will always illuminate my heart, light up my way and guide me right to the goal, giving me resolution and ability to become Your maybe the least but worthy sincere disciple. With deep gratitude, respect and love I want to tell You again and again: "Dear Guru Maharaja, thank You for everything You do for us, thank You that You tolerate us, and that You love us! All glories to our beloved Srila Prabhupada and his worthy disciples, and undoubtedly You are one of them. I will remind myself again and again about my incredibly rare luck to have such a remarkable, sincere and exceptionally compassionate spiritual master.
Your inexperienced and unfortunate servant,
Vrajendra-suta das Ivanovo, Russia
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